Batman V Gang weed: The Uprising
by Silver Falchion
Summary: Batman faces his greatest threat yet: The Gentlemen Gamer Uprising. Based on Batman comics by DC and the various Gang weed facebook meme pages.


It was a quiet night in Gotham city. TOO QUIET. Batman was on patrol, when suddenly he got a message from Alfred through his earpiece. "There's a break-in at the EB Games on 34th and main, sir." He said, "The breakers in seem to be... the Joker, and several people in Guy Fawkes masks" "Robbing a game store isn't his style. This seems off." Batman Said Matter of factually. He then jumped into the bat mobile and drove there at top speed.

Upon arriving, he let from the bat mobile and landed on the ground. "It's over Joker." He told the Pale, Topless figure. He was covered in various tattoos and had grilled teeth. "HMMM? Yuo think I'm the JOKER? Yuo fool, I am actually the JOCKER, the ultimate GENTLEMEN GAMER!" He shouted ."GANG WEEDERS! RISE UP AND DEFEAT THIS CHAD" He then pointed at Batman, who, while he was confused at the Joker's new look and attitude, he didn't show it. He proceeded to fight with men in the Guy Fawkes masks, who were shouting incoherently about "Veronica", "Chads", Rise Up" and "Gang weed".

"I don't know what you're planning Joker but you're not going to get away with it!" Batman yelled at him as he jumped into his white van with the stolen electronics. "The Gamer Rising is coming yuo Chad!" He shouted back. "You can't stop it! Soon Veronica will be mine! RISE UP!" Batman defeated the various Fawkes goons, who when unmasked all seemed to be teenagers. "Alfred, can you do some digging on these people?" Batman took pictures of the unconscious suspects with his cowl that he then sent to Alfred for analysis. "Yes sir." Alfred Said. "They all seem to be Students at Gotham High." Alfred continued looking through the various databases available to him, including all of Gotham high's records.

"Ah. It says here they're all part of a Facebook group called "gang weeders"." Alfred started looking at the Facebook group. "Sir... you're going to want to see this" Alfred then displayed screens of images from the group through Batman's cowl. Various images of the Joker flashed on the screen, with text imploring gamers to "rise up" against the "Chads", the government, obtain "Veronica" and most disturbingly of all, worship of the Joker. "Worshiping the Joker... what twisted individuals." Batman Snarled. "And look at this, it's the page of this 'Jocker' character himself" He began looking through his page to try and find possible motives. The most common link in all his posts was a love of a woman named "Veronica" and a hatred of a man named "Chad". "Alfred, find me a list of all woman in Gotham high named Veronica." Batman Commanded.

"Right away sir" Alfred said. "there's only one Veronica sir. Her name is Veronica Hodgins"

"Give me her room number" Batman asked. Batman got into the bat mobile and drove straight to Gotham high.

Veronica was studying in her room when a shadow appeared from behind her. "Veronica Hodgins?" A deep, gravelly voice asked. "I need to ask you some questions." She was terrified. "AHH!" she screamed "Who the hell are you?!" She then noticed who he was. "BATMAN!?"

"I need you to tell me if you've ever been asked out by a guy and repeatedly turned him down because you don't want to be more than friends" He sighed. "That's an oddly specific question, But... yeah I have, my friend Edward. I haven't seen him in a while though He's been acting very strange lately, working out and getting lots of edgy tattoos. Is he okay?" She asked

"I'm afraid not. Whatever you do, don't approach him, it's not safe for you. And if you see him, call the police. All right?" Batman said softly.

"Uh... Sure, what's wrong with him?" She said, however Batman was already gone. "Huh. How's he do that?" She asked.

The next day Veronica was walking to class when she saw Edward. He was talking to his other gamer friends, however he looked very different since the last time she say him. In addition to the tattoos, he was wearing white face make-up and a purple suit. He looked like... the Joker. She frantically reached for her phone to call the police, however, that was when Edward saw her. He walked over to her with his gang of weeders.

"Hello Veronica. Yuo're looking beautiful as usual." He sneered. "Still going out with Chad instead of a gentleman gamer such as myself?"

"Edward I just don't see you that way. Chad's a great Guy, and he doesn't worship the ground I walk and ask to drink my Pee like you do." She said.

"Look Veronica... Gamer Girl Pee is just the perfect side-dish to Gang Weed... and regardless... I'll show you of how much of a GENTLEMAN I can be!" He shouted. Then, all his gamer friends put on their Guy Fawkes mask and attacked her. They bound her and put her in Edward's white van. "I'll MAKE you love me VERONICA! More than ANY CHAD!" They then drove away in his van. "GAMERS RISE UP!" He shouted.

Batman was at the bat computer looking up the owner of the "Jocker" account on Facebook. "Edward Cullen" Batman said. "Huh." He left for Edwards's dorm room.

Upon entering Edwards's room it was a mess. It looked like it hadn't been used in days, everything was askew and there posters of the Joker everywhere. As well as a high-end gaming PC, several consoles and various weed-based paraphernalia. "Hmm..." he booted up the man's computer. It was of course password locked. But Batman used his hacking device to unlock the password using the thumb sticks. The password was "Gamers rise up 420". Batman let out an audible sigh and began looking through his private messages on Facebook. There was group chat called "Gang weeders" that had a meet-up planned a while ago at an old abandoned warehouse. "That's likely where they are, Alfred." He said into his headpiece.

"Indeed sir" Alfred said. Batman entered the bat mobile and drove off to the warehouse.

Upon arriving there, Batman grappled atop the roof and watched through a skylight. There was 5 of them, four and the Jocker. They were armed. Jocker was talking to Veronica in the center of the room. "Well Veronica, thank you for letting me suck your toes and for giving me a DELICIOUS Drink..." He said "would you like to smoke some delectable GANG WEED with me?"

"I WOULD RATHER DIE" She shouted back.

"Puff, that's what you say now... but wait till you try some..." He took a big inhale of his joint, then pressed his mouth against hers and exhaled the smoke into her mouth. Veronica could barely breathe, she started caught and gagging. "AHHH OUR FIRST KISS!" Jocker said. "And nothing could be more romantic than a gang weed kiss!"

Just then, Batman smashed through the ceiling and took out a guard by throwing a battering at his weapon to disarm him. Batman than got to work on the guards, using stealth to his advantage to take them out. "STOP DODGING BAT-CHAD!" The Jocker shouted, opening fire at Batman's direction. "Why are you doing this Edward!?" Batman shouted back.

"I'm doing this as an expression of my love for Veronica! You wouldn't understand! No one does except my fellow gamers! The most oppressed demographic in the history of the planet!" Edward shouted back.

"This isn't love, this is lust! You're starting down a dark path but you can still turn back!" Batman replied.

"I'll show you! If I can't have Veronica NO ONE CAN!" Jocker shouted then pointed the gun at Veronica.

Batman acted quickly, he bat-grappled the roof and swung and kicked the Jocker in the face. Batman looked him in the face. "You need to stop Edward. Get some help, this isn't healthy." He then cuffed him. Batman called the police and waited for them to arrive.

When they came and took everyone away Edward had woke up. "What was I about to do? What did I do? What's wrong with me? I love you Veronica!" He said, very confused.

"No you don't Edward, and I knew that from the start." She said. "You were in love with the perfect version of me in your head. It's why I could never date you, I would have let you down."

"I... see now. I think I have a lot of things to think about." Edward replied.

"And you will, Edward, I will see you get the best treatment that can be supplied." Batman said.

"Thanks Batman, I'm sorry for calling you a Chad" Edward replied.

"And one more thing... why the Joker obsession?" Batman requested.

"I...I was feeling alone and was on Facebook when I got a message from a "Mr. J" He was the first person to really care about me and my problems.. He introduced me to "gang weed" and told me how to get some, he also had a Joker avatar and explained his philosophy of how everyone is a terrible person and how society was corrupt."

"I see. I'll look into this "Mr. J" character. Good luck Edward." Batman then disappeared into the night.

Batman was looking into the "Mr. J" Account, which he heavily suspected to be the Joker. It was barren, almost no information at all, but he did run the "Gang Weed" Page on Facebook. Whoever made this page was careful, they always made sure to use several proxies and change their IP often, and they were most likely using a laptop, not even Oracle would be able to crack this. Just then he overheard a call on the police band. The mayor's office was under attack by several people Guy Fawkes mask, followed by a man in a Joker costume, Batman got into the bat mobile and headed out to stop them.

* * *

"Mister Mayor..." The man in heavy white make up, long green hair and a heavy scarred face covered in red lipstick said. "YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA"

"Not... particularly..." The Mayor Said.

"I'm the JOCKER" the 2nd Jocker said. "And I'm going to make this pencil... DISSAPEAR!" He put a pencil straight up and was about to slam the Man's head into it when Batman smashed through the front window onto of the Joker, knocking him unconscious.

"Another Joker wannabe?!" Batman shouted.

The followers in the Guy Fawkes mask opened fire upon Batman. "GAMERS RISE UP!" Batman ducked before the mayor's desk while the mayor ran away. He took a smoke Grenade out from his belt tossed it at them. "AGHH, WHAT IS THIS FOUL NON_GANG WEED GAS!?" One of the Gang weeders shouted. "They began firing at the desk blind. Batman dived into the middle of them and beat them all unconscious. He then took the new Jocker and took him up to the roof and waited till he woke up.

"WHERE'S MR. J?" Batman growled at him.

"I'M MR. J! AHHAHAAHAHAHA" The Jocker Laughed. Batman had priorly tied the bat grapple around his legs, and he now threw him off the roof letting the rope slide. "AAGHAGA ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I'LL TELL YOU" The second Joker shouted. "I don't know who he is but he's been arranging various meetup around the city and give us free Gang weed."

"Gang weed?" Batman asked "Marijuana?"

"Not just ANY weed man! It's Special!" The goon said, hanging upside down. "Pick me up and I'll give you some!" Batman pull him up. "It's in my vest pocket man!" The Jocker shouted. Batman took it and then he took the goon down to the street and cuffed and called the police to take him in. "You'll never beat us Batman, The Gamers will rise up! Yuo'll see!" The Jocker Shouted.

Back in the Bat-cave, Batman logged into Facebook as Edward Cullen. This was annoying process because he needed to confirm the bat computer as a "confirmed PC" and had to get oracle to hack his e-mail to get in. He looked through the gang weed group chat to find the next time to meet up with Mr. J. It was tonight at 4:20 AM. Batman sighed. "This has to be the absolute dumbest plan the Joker has ever had Alfred."

"Even dumber than trying to copyright fish sir?" Alfred quipped back.

Batman sighed even louder.

Batman then began analyzing the "Gang weed" It WAS Marijuana, but with an added extra ingredient: Joker Venom. "No wonder these "Gang weeders" have been so insane, they smoking Joker venom." Batman told Alfred. Batman then got into the bat mobile and raced to the meetup location to stake it out.

He stood on a roof overlooking the alleyway they were supposed to meet out of. It was near a Vape shape and an EB Games. "Of course they'd meet up here." Batman mumbled to himself. Just then a man in a purple hat and suit jacket arrived at the location, followed by numerous other people in purple and green, white make-up and green hair. "This is insane, the Joker has somehow made a gang of Jokers."

"Here you go boys! One more bag a' giggles for yuo all!" The man in the purple hat said.

Batman jumped down into the middle of all of them, taking out various Joker wannabes, until all that remained was the man in the purple hat who was running away. Batman start chasing after him. He grapples to a nearby roof, launched off it, glided across inform the hatted Joker and landed in front of him cloaked and menacing. "WHERE'S JOKER!?" He snarled.

"Have ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?" The hatted Jocker asked while pointing his gun at Batman.

Batman knocked the gun out his hand. "Where's Joker?!"

"All... alright man! You're such a Chad!" the Jocker said. "Joker's been running operations like this throughout the country, he's planning the gamer uprising! He's going to help us show the Chads of the world that we're true gentlemen and let us take control of the society we live in!" Batman then punched him in the face, knocking him out. He dragged him to the other Jockers and tied them all up, then called the police. The next day, Bruce Wayne got on his private jet to Washington.

* * *

The Joker sat at his new hideout at Washington DC. He was surrounded various people in Guy Fawkes masks and spoke loudly.

"Today is the day we gamers have been waiting for! This day we will all slunk all our gang weed and March straight into Washington and show president blimp what we think of him and this society we live in! Tonight we will take the world from all the Chads and get all the Veronicas we want! Never again will we be in the friend zone! Never again will we live in a society where gamers like you and I are treated like Jews in Nazi Germany. Oh... today we will show the nation...nay... the world the power of Gang weed! GAMERS RISE UP!"

After Joker's speech, the various Jockers and Anonymous wannabes shouted and cheered: "GAMERS RISE UP!"

* * *

Batman arrived at Washington and snuck into the oval office to warn president Tump that he was in grave danger and that the Joker was coming for him. He arrived out of the shadows and spoke to the president.

"Mr. President, I'm here to warn you. You're in grave danger." Batman said seriously.

"Huh? Who're you?" Tump gawked

"I'M BATMAN" he answered seriously.

"You are in danger. You need to leave and get to a safe house."

"From what, this Joker fellow? I'm not afraid a Joker, I'll cut him a deal. It'll be the best deal he ever saw. And it'll also be very good."

"Joker doesn't make deals, he's a psychopath."

"That's because he's only been offered bad deals. I'll offer him a deal so good his head will spin. He's never a seen a deal as good as the ones I make."

"I..." Batman started

"Get this Batman joker out here he shouted to his secret service. I don't want to see him anymore get him out! OUT!" He start waving non-chillingly.

Batman through a smoke bomb and left the Whitehouse.

* * *

It was time. The Joker, and the gang weeders all started their insane assault of white house. People were shooting thaw secret service in huge fire fight people in Guy Fawkes masks and various Jockers were attack the Whitehouse, firing multiple semi-automatics and guns, "DIE CHAD!", "GAMERS RISE UP!", and "WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!" they shouted. The Joker meanwhile marched straight into the white house and was protected by various Guy Fawkes masked men who were more than happy to act as meat shields. Upon entering the oval office, the gang weeders entered the room and engaged in a fire fight with the secret service, followed by Joker entering.

"You know what to do Pike!" Tump commanded to Pike Mence, who was with him.

"RIDE THE LIGHTING!" Pike Mence shouted as lunged at the Joker his eyes an electric blue with electricity surging from his body.

Joker laughed and said "Nothing under my sleeve!" He sprayed gas from his sleeve, which Mence inhaled and started shocking laughing, eventually a large smile crossed his face and Vice president Mence collapsed, dead.

"Are you this Joker fellow that all the hubbub's been made about?" Tump said. "How about we cut you a deal. What do you want?"

"Why, Mr. President, I want your office." Joker said

"You sure? It turns out this job is very hard. And everyone criticizes you. You don't want it, I don't even want it. How about a few hundred million dollars? A Tower with your name on it? How'd you spell that? J-O-C-K-E-R?"

"C-K?" Joker said offended.

"That's it, I'm done dealing with this buffoon." Joker then took out a gun and prepared to shoot Tump when Batman busted in through the front windows shouting "GET DOWN Mr. President!" He shouted.

"Why are you defending this Idiot anyway Batman!? Even I'D be a better president that this moron!" Joker said. "GET HIM!" Suddenly all the Guy Fawkes mask wearing gang weeders and the Jockers all flooded in, attacking Batman while the Joker made his escape, leaving Batman to fight them all.

"GAMERS RISE UP!" the Joker shouted as he ran away, only to bump into a short person he didn't see. "Huh?" Joker asked "Oh. It's the brat. Which one are you again? The fourth one now? Or the 5th? Was there a girl? I can't ever keep them all straight."

"I'm the one that's going to kick your ass!" Robin said and he began attacking the Joker as he ran away. "As if I would lose to a brat like you!" and the Joker started running in a different direction. Joker ran into some Jockers and informed them "You, you Emasculated incels! It's time to execute plan 'we live in a society', is it all set up?"

"Whoa already boss? We can still win!" One Jocker told him. Joker immediately shot him in the face. "Anyone else want to doubt my leadership?" Joker asked.

"Uh no boss! We live a society is ready to roll!" the other Jocker said. Joker than ran out of the building with the other two Jockers holding off Robin as he escaped. "Well, we won't be living in a society soon enough!" He then pushed a detonator which began blowing up the whole building while he ran into his van and started driving away, however he was interrupted by Nightwing.

"ANOTHER ONE OF THESE BRATS!?" he shouted "Don't these kids have anything better to do thane superheroes when they graduate from being Robin?"

Nightwing threw some wingdings into the tires causing the van to topple and fall over. Nightwing approached the van but the Joker had already left through the back. Nightwing got on his bike to chase him.

Meanwhile, Batman had rescued President Tump from the exploding building and looked for Robin, who had also escaped. "It's like 1812 in here!" Robin Said.

"Where's the Joker?" Batman said.

"Nightwing went after him, you should go to him too father, I, Red Hood and Red Robin can handle this." Robin said. Batman got into the bat mobile and drove to Nightwing's location, who had already beat up and apprehended the Joker.

"AGH Batman, do you just live to destroy my plans?" Joker shouted.

"Joker, today you convinced hundreds of young people to give their lives up in some vain attempt to have a gamer utopia where they could have whatever they wanted all the time and destroy society."

"And today, you spoiled all my fun!" Joker shouted. Batman then took the Joker to the police where he was promptly sent to Arkham Asylum.


End file.
